I am so glad that I didn’t have a job during the first few months of my sobriety. For starters, I don’t think I could have gotten sober as a high bottom and having a job- having a way to support my habit- would have just prolonged my drinking and using. But it also allowed me to completely focus my energy on getting sober, staying sober and doing healthy things. So, as with every other period in my life, I have grown out of this place in which it is okay to be unemployed.
For starters, being twenty-seven years old and having to ask my fiancé for money any and every time I want or need to buy anything freaking sucks. It makes me feel like an asshole and it puts him in a shitty position as well. I mean, shit, he is only thirty-one and although he has financially helped me in a most selfless and generous way, I’m sure supporting his other half wasn’t on his list of things he was just dying to do. The whole self-esteem thing aside, I have some things I need to take care of- specifically, my teeth. I’ve written about this before… I have a dentist who I am confident in, but the amount of work I need done is pretty extensive, although you wouldn’t know it from looking at my front teeth (fuck you methamphetamine). This is something I need to take care of before I go to teacher training in mid September. The last thing I want to do is pay 11 grand for teacher training and end of having to leave before I get certified because of something with my teeth.
So, what all this is leading up to is this:
I got a job!
I’m going to be waiting tables (not bar tending) at a really cute restaurant on Pier 39. It is called Pier Market. I cannot express how grateful I am to have gotten this job. I actually have my orientation this Friday at ten in the morning and, according to the general manager who contacted me this morning, will be starting my training next week!
I know that eight and a half months ago, with my alcoholism raging and totally addicted to meth, I was absolutely unemployable. It is crystal clear to me that the only reason I am being afforded this opportunity is that I am sober.
So, short term goals are:
1. Get through training and orientation at new job
2. Work hard and prove myself as a good, dedicated worker
Mid term goals are:
1. Work with my dentist to get my teeth fixed
2. Continue my regular, dedicated yoga practice
Long tern goals are:
1. Register for Bikram Yoga Teacher Training
2. Leave for LA teacher training in September
The best part of all of this was when I talked to my Mom today and she said something to the effect of, “You are setting goals and taking real steps in the right direction, Ash”.
I don’t think I have smiled that big in a long time.